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Believe in a New Day

Believe in a New Day

Miranda Kramer No Comment

Recently, I was given an assignment for which I had to write about what I believed in. Being honest, it took me a while to really pinpoint what that was. My life is centered around my pursuit of happiness, but I wanted to go deeper. So, rather than tell about the road to self content on which I’m travelling, I wrote about the very beginning, and what gives me the courage every day to continue with the journey.

I believe in the strength it takes to wake up.

Growing up, my world was filled with playtimes and daydreaming. Oblivious to the truth of reality, I stayed content in my own fantasy land. The late night arguments through the hushed whispers of my parents never reached my ears. The only voice I heard was the one telling me that everything was alright, everything was going to be okay. A broken guitar string or cracked glass was no match for handyman Daddy. Although as I got older, I realized that the world wasn’t as happy as I thought it was, that my father couldn’t fix poverty or violence or hunger or any other of the world’s numerous afflictions.

As I got older, children I called friends became enemies and ones who I thought were on my side became traitors. I began to realize that being different had its consequences, and as I tried and failed to fit in, my faith in humanity began to diminish. Every morning and every night, I would wrack my brain, trying to figure out a way to be normal, a way to be accepted. From the age of six, I was excluded because I laughed a little too loud, dressed a little too colorful. I was shunned because designer clothes and the hottest trends meant nothing to me. I never cared about popularity, happiness is what I valued most; but in a society where status meant success, I was seen as foolish. I wasn’t being realistic, letting my “imagination” run wild. Thinking about a world where the only label of a person was their name meant my head was in the clouds.

Because of these ridicules, my self confidence deteriorated into almost nothing. There have been multiple times when ending my own life seemed like a fair option. I didn’t know if I could survive in a world where status quo and normalcy ruled and being unique was frowned upon. Yet, in my darkest of times, when every night I cried myself to sleep, praying to God to “fix me”, I thought of tomorrow. I thought of the next day and the possibility of it being a better one. I thought of the all the people I might meet and the stories I might hear. I forgot about the stress, the heartbreak, and the disappointment because all that mattered was the chance of feeling happy again.

So here I am, taking each day minute by minute, slowly surviving. Yes, there are still hundreds of people who are going to judge me and disagree with my perspective, but there’s also hundreds of people who are going to support and love me. These people, the ones I call my true friends and family, are why I’m still here. They give me hope that things will change, and maybe, just maybe, the future holds a world where the word normal isn’t in the dictionary. These people are why I wake up every day, even knowing that there are people out there who will never accept who I am. That is why I believe that getting up in the morning is the most important thing we can do, because it means that no matter how miserable or depressed we feel, we still have hope that things will get better.

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Hey, it's Miranda! I'm just your average brunette, except much more fabulous. Besides being a total book nerd, I'm also a humanitarian. Every day, I strive to be heard, sharing a message of acceptance and equality through my words. My advice is to love yourself, not because Justin told you to, but because you're beautiful. Never forget that you're worth it.

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